Editor’s Note: PIEhole Magazine is proud to now have the Single and Happy column in our rotation. The book, Single and Happy: Nothing Like a Writer Scorned, will be out in time for Valentine’s Day.
by Chocolate Aquarius
How can women tolerate singlehood at 40? Just ask me. Yes, dolls, your girl just had a milestone of a birthday. Oh, lordy!
Yet, I had to work during my big day. The hustle stops for no one.
So how, you might ask, did your Single and Happy homegirl celebrate the start of middle age, in between typing and editing? During a convention, in Miami, of course! The place where turning 40 is not exactly as celebrated as other 40-ish things: a pair of 40-DDs, $40,000 in jewelry, or even a set of 40-inch rims, yo. *insert b-girl stance*
Still, I beamed, as my client drove us down the infamous Collins Avenue one day last week; and, I found myself soon in a briefing session (read: en-route to a South Beach restaurant where something as innocent as a mimosa sits in huge container of a glass!) OMG, he can sing, I thought. Matter of fact, I blogged, “Didn’t matter the artist, either: Alexander O’neal, Joe or Rick James, bish. That man can sing his azz off!” I took in everything I could in my travels, like a kid at Christmas.
But, I was supposed to be sad and lonely…right? Here I am, 40, alone, no love prospects, not even a potential Valentine’s Day date. Hmp.
Later during our time in Miami, word spread that my birthday fell on January 28th. I can only wonder how that happened…
Looks of amazement — “You can’t be forty. Get out!” — made my day. My two-week diet and YouTube workouts have done a body good. Even the youngins were surprised that I was not only no longer one of them, but that I haven’t been for years. (Add to that several requests during the convention for my writing services. Totally geeked I am!)
You see, turning 40 is not the end of a thing.
The take-away: society wants us to feel either like old, bitter hags, or be cougars who desperately want to hold on to the 30s, through the arms of a 20-year-old. I could pull it off if I wanted to — the juniors love me — but I’m good.
Are you a member of the 40-plus? If not, does turning 40 frighten you?
I am the Chocolate Aquarius. I am single, I am happy and I’m blogging all about it on www.singleandhappyonline.com. I’m on Twitter, too at
http://twitter.com/singleandhappy1.
Oh, and I approve this message.

I stepped over that invisible line a little while ago. Ok, perhaps a medium while. I’m not frightened about it (especially since people tend to think I’m 15 years younger than I am), but I do a lot more calendar watching. Like, it’s February 11 already and I STILL haven’t become a rock star. I don’t like the odds, either.
With the over-usage of the term “rock star” these days, not becoming one might be a good thing. Thanks for reading!
Ty
I was being literal, though. I’m in the middle of recording my 8th or 9th song demo going back to 1990. Ninth time is the charm?
Maybe?
Yes. I’m using the little-known (because I made it up) 3×3 rule. Now I want to have a jam session with you!
Here’s what I can do, in descending order of skill:
1. Drums (bring it on, whatever it is)
2. Guitar (don’t ask for weird jazz chords or expect Eddie Van Halen, and we’re good)
3. Bass (um, I hope you like Louie Louie by Paul Revere or Lover Please by Clyde McPhatter)
4. Singing (My microphone broke once and no one suggested I replace it)
Ready for some rock-n-soul?
Well, I sing and, as long as I don’t have to do anything fancy, I play keys. Rock-n-soul it is!
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